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altar

altar

My relationship with my son has not always been smooth sailing. There was a time when he literally hated me. I could not blame him; I blamed myself. I wasn’t strong enough to fight my own battles and keep my kids from the misery I was in. When my son was still a baby, he was so attached to me. He would rather sleep on my chest than in his own bed. He and his sister would fight for my attention. However, when my marriage broke down, I was lost and I neglected my kids. I then left the house with my daughter leaving my son to his father. And I think he felt I abandoned him and he could never forgive me for that even though I made it a point to have him with me regularly. Three years ago, my ex-husband decided to settle in another country and left the house to me and my two kids. What followed was an emotional battle with my son which also affected my daughter. At first I would not let him see how upset and sad it made me feel everytime he expressly taunt me or dare me with his provocations.  This conflict had also affected his religious faith. During my troubled marriage, my kids would hear their father mocking my faith and calling me a hypocrite. My son would soon associate his bitterness towards me with my religious faith. He stopped going to church; my daughter followed his example. I did not push them to do otherwise; I felt I had to be a good example of a true Christian first. The first step was to put the house in order. I took away all the graven images of foreign gods that my ex has collected from his various travels. I then set up my own Catholic altar right in the living room- with the image of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus at the center of the altar. I cleaned up my son’s CD/DVD compilation and got rid of his collection of Satanic music (I was shocked to see the name and image of Satan on the covers). I then resumed our family prayers before meals. At first I would go to church alone. Gradually, my kids would accompany me to church on special holy days like Christmas, Good Friday and Easter. Easter and Christmas after mass, we would watch on tv the Pope’s Orbi et Urbi. Once in a while, I would tell my kids: “I have this problem and need your help. Could you please help me pray for guidance?” They would just look at me and say nothing. After a time of silent reaction to his temperamental outbursts – his way of venting out his frustrations, I soon learned that it is better to be honest with one another and let out each other’s feelings. And it happened. My son finally realized how devastated I was with our never-ending emotional fights. We ended up crying and hugging one other – my kids and I. It is not yet still waters around us. We still need time to heal our psychological and spiritual wounds. I shall continue praying for my kids, for myself and my whole family that we will all soon be guided back to the right path to the Lord Jesus.

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